Lord Bone!
by THE-SLAIN-SPEAK
Summary: Lord Bone has come to take what is rightfully his. The title of the strongest in the universe! Do the Z-fighters have a prayer of defeating this powerful new foe?


**Warning : Contains a decent amount of adult content, including profanity, and mentionings of sexual intercourse. Reader Discretion is advised. lol!!**

**Author's Notes :**_Alright first off this is NOT my work. I'm posting this up for a friend, named **FlyingShadow** and all credit, story wise goes to him. I just edited it a little, so that it read right on fanfiction . This story was originally posted on gamefaqs a site which restricts a lot of stuff. So if any of this sounds weird just notify me or **FlyingShadow**. He should have an account now, or pretty soon._

**LORD BONE FANFIC**

Story by : **FlyingShadow**

Edited By : **TheSlainSpeak**(me)

**Enjoy!**

**(And Please Review )**

**Goku, young Gohan, and Chi Chi are all having dinner together for once before the Cell Games. Tonight, it's Goku's favorite food, spare ribs! As usual, the great champion of Earth is shoveling immense amounts of food into his mouth. Rib after rib, he just pops them in and spits them out meatless. **

Goku with a mouth full of food: Gosh Chi Chi, these are really good!  
**He throws several more ribs into his mouth.**

ChiChiGoku: You mustn't speak with your mouth full of food! Its rude and you might choke!

Goku:Nah, I'm a super saiyan after all, I doubt a little bone could kill me!"

**And again even more food goes into his death trap of a mouth.**

Gohan: Maybe Mom is right, you are kind of going crazy with those ribs.

Goku: Both of you shut up, I've been eating like this for years, I know what i'm do--

**And with that, a bone gets lodged in Goku's throat and he begins to choke. His face turns blue...Chi Chi and Gohan start panicking**

Chi Chi: Gohan save your father! He is going to Choke! HELP HIM NOW!

Gohan: What the fuck do you want me to do?! I've lived on a fucking mountain my whole life I don't know the Heimlich maneuver!

**Goku starts turning purple, he collapses, and dies."**

Gohan: _that is fucking ironic._

**Meanwhile at Capsule Corp**

**Mirai Trunks, Bulma, and Vegeta are eating dinner. The phone starts to ring.**

Vegeta: Woman, answer that infernal contraption!

Bulma: Don't tell me what to do Vegeta!  
**ring ring**

Vegeta: Answer the phone BUUULLLMAA!  
**ring ring**

Bulma: You could get to it much faster then I could ya know, you jerk!  
**ring ring ring**

Trunks: Father I could answer it...

Vegeta: YOU SIT THE DOWN. NO SON OF MINE IS GOING TO DO SERVANT WORK WHEN A PERFECTLY CAPABLE WOMAN CAN, ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE IS SHOVELING FOOD IN HER FAT FACE.  
**ring ring ring ring**

Bulma: You can't speak to me that way Vegeta, I am a person with fe--

Vegeta: SHUT UP! PICK UP THE GODDAMN PHONE OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL COME OVER THERE!!

**Vegeta slams his fists onto the table breaking it**

TRUNKS:….  
BULMA:….O..K..

**Bulma finally knows her role and picks up the phone in the other room. It is Chi Chi crying and she told her what happened to Goku. Bulma starts breaking down to, she gets off the phone and goes in to tell the others**

Vegeta: Jeez Bulma, stop being such a baby or no sex tonight winks at Trunks

Trunks: 0o

Bulma: Goku…he's…he's dead!

**A wave of shock hits Vegeta and Trunks.**

Trunks: Was it Cell?! I bet he couldn't wait until the tournament to kill Goku!

_Kakorot…Dead?…Impossible_

Bulma: No..he, choked on a rib bone and suffocated!

**Trunks and Vegeta fall out of their chairs 0o**

**Trunks carries Bulma while he and Vegeta fly to Goku's house. They arrive and everyone except Vegeta immediately consoles Goku's family.**

Vegeta: Well?!

Gohan: Well what?! _dick…_

Vegeta: Where is it?! Where is the bone that defeated Kakorot?

Gohan: ….It's over there, **points to the table,** but why is it important?

**Vegeta ignores Gohan and walks over to the small rib bone.**

Vegeta: YOU! **(points finger at bone) **You, have done what I have never been able to do! You have defeated the greatest warrior I have ever seen. I respect your strength **(bows to the bone) (0o)** But know this, I am the Prince of all Saiyans, and I WILL defeat you. By you defeating Kakorot in combat proves that you are a worthy adversary, and I shall overcome you!

**Everyone is just staring at Vegeta.**

Gohan: Are you effing kidding me…

Vegeta: Quiet boy, show this bone respect, no, it's name is Bone! Bone, I will destroy you when the time comes, but right now we need to defeat a monster named Cell, will you aid us with strength?! Ah-hah, the quiet type? I like your style Bone, then we shall meet you there in two days! **(ooking at Gohan)**You boy! Make sure Bone is at the tournament, without that Clown of a father of yours we'll need his help.

_what a fucking idiot._

**Cell Games Begin, Hercule and Co. all get beat**

Cell: Well then, I suppose that it is time for the real fight to begin…Where is Goku? **looks around**

Vegeta: He has been killed in combat…

Cell: WHAT?! Who could have done this?

Vegeta: It was this man…**(holds Bone in the palm of his hand)**

Cell: What kind of fighter is this? I don't have any data on him. Interesting… he must be suppressing his ki, but how much?!

Gohan: _He can't be serious…?_

Vegeta: Bone shall be your first fighter! Here, allow me to help! **Tosses Bone into the ring to fight Cell**

Yamcha: Who is this guy?! Did he really beat Goku? Look at him, he is going to fight Cell alone and he shows no sign of fear!

Tien: I know, it's unreal!

Piccolo: I've never quite felt anything like this before, its mind boggling!

The fight is about to begin and the usual banter is about to start.

Cell: You are brave Bone, or very foolish. I am perfect, witness my power!!

**Cell powers up.**

**Bone just lays there.**

Cell: _His stance is flawless…I can't find an opening…And he hasn't even powered up, what kind of fiend is this?! I suppose I should just attack and see what happens!_

Cell: NOW DIE!! **(Cell rushes towards Bone, he is going for a killing strike. He is about to strike but quickly dashes into the air. Cell is sweating heavily and is out of breath, a look of horror is on his face)** _What composure he has…I feel death coming from this strange fighter…Right when I was about to attack I felt like I was going to die,_ I forfeit. You win.

Z Fighters :wtfpwn/1!#! 0o

Cell: I cannot defeat a man such as this. He has no openings, shows no fear, and I suspect he is hiding almost 99 of his power. I have no death wishes. I shall leave.

Gohan: I cannot believe this is fucking happening!

Everyone else: Yahooooooooooo!! We won! This guy rocks, I don't even care he killed Goku!!

**Back at Gohan's house everyone is celebrating, except Gohan who is in a bad mood. Bone is sitting in Goku's usual spot with a heap of Goku's orange Gi laying around him.**

Yamcha: You're the bomb man! You totally won!  
Chi Chi: Oh Bone, you are so cute…maybe you should spend the night, I am so lonely since whats his name died.

Gohan: MOTHER! DAD DIED 2 FUCKING DAYS AGO!

Chi Chi: Well Gohan, a woman has her needs! **Winks**

Gohan: _whore.._

Later that night…………

**Chi Chi and Bone are sitting at the dinner table. Chi Chi's hair is ruffled and her cheeks are flushed.**

Chi Chi: Oh Bone, you are so amazing in bed! It is nice to have someone who knows what a vagina is for once!!

Bone: …

Chi Chi: Always the quiet type huh? Sexy…I like that in a man actually.

Bone: …

Chi Chi: Marry me! Be my new husband! Though, I don't think Gohan likes you very much.

Bone: …

Chi Chi: You're right, we'll have to get rid of him…I'm not strong enough, you'll have to. Will you do it?

Bone: …

Chi Chi: I knew I can depend on you!!

**While Gohan is sleeping Chi Chi walks into his room holding Bone. She places him on a self above Gohan's bed.**

Chi Chi: Here is a good spot, you can get the jump on him! Okay sweetie, make it quick, he is just a boy after all.

Bone: …

**Chi Chi walks out the door, and shuts it a little to hard. Bone falls off the shelf into Gohan's open mouth. He immediately begins to chokes, and soon dies.**

**Later, at his funeral…Everyone is crying, Chi Chi is faking it of course. All of the Z-Senshi are there.**

Piccolo: _My poor Gohan…I wish I could have saved you, but he is to strong…I would have only have died first…I'm so sorry_

**Yamcha whispers to Tien.**

Yamcha: I heard he killed Gohan just so he can get with Chi Chi!

Tien : What. A. fucking. Bad. Ass.  
Yamcha: Word Yo.

**Trunks stands up and starts yelling**

Trunks: IT IS A GODDAMN RIB BONE YOU IDIOTS! GOKU DIED BECAUSE HE IS A TUBBY BITCH! AND GOHAN DIED BECAUSE CHI CHI IS A WH--

**All of a sudden Trunks explodes into a million pieces. Everyone looks around in shock at who could have done this. No one had any idea, they didn't detect an energy signature at all…**

Bone: ; - )

FIN.


End file.
